This past Sunday, B came to me distraught - venting how “capitalism” is the worst thing to have happened to the world. We discussed how capitalism, at its core, is probably the only system that has worked to progress humanity - the incentives are key to anyone doing any meaningful work apart from basic survival. The real problem has come from unchecked capitalism and its symptoms, and how there seem to be no checks and balances.
Her concern came from something she’s deeply passionate about, and much more fundamental - food. She has recently joined the mission at Flavour Lab - dedicated to teaching kids what real food is, and how to eat better. At times she feels she’s fighting a losing battle - there are simply too many forces that are dragging us into an abyss. Too much sugar in our food, bad ingredients and substitutes, targeted selling with wrong claims - all in the name of an extra % of margin on the P&L, ethics and concern for a fellow human’s wellbeing be damned.
Everywhere you look you see similar patterns - fast fashion, platforms screaming for attention, tech-driven layoffs, farmer exploitation - all engineered in a race to the bottom, with seemingly no end. Even the new technology that’s supposed to save us (AI) is increasingly designed to hook us - with click-baity endings and “one more turn” mentality akin to slot-machine gamblers, not to mention AI-slop flooding all channels.
As the parents of a 4yr old, we worry about the future. What is one to do? How does one protect oneself, and the people they care about - from everything wrong that’s happening?
The only answer I could draw out in the moment was a tough one - we simply have to fight it out.
Even as I write it (much less live it) - I can see how bloody hard it is.
Awareness and Intentionality
The biggest way to defend yourself, is to be aware of all that’s happening around you - and be intentional about what you do.
In less than an hour B and I had sunk into a depressive state discussing all that’s wrong with the world - and how difficult it is to keep track. But then we realized that there are only a few things we “really” care about - and that narrows down the field by a lot. You only need to be aware of a few spheres of life that directly impact you, and work harder towards making them work for you.
Note: yes, I need to learn to draw better circles
The pink circle is the stuff we really need to bother about - whether you use Maslow’s Hierarchy to define it, or something else.
- You need to start with the roti, kapda, makaan to feel grounded, safe and secure
- You need work (or some means of earning a living)
- You need your village1 - friends, family, a support system that cuts across boundaries
- You need a few things you are passionate about (more on this below)
Once you have defined your spheres of focus, you need to declutter the noise around it, and be your own curator of purpose and joy. Find good sources of food2, live in a city / area / society that allows you to live your best life, work that gives you joy (or at least doesn’t suck it out of you). The last two - village and purpose - are probably the hardest to find, build and maintain.
The hardest thing to curate today is information.
Values to keep you grounded
Doing even this much takes a ton of effort - the game of cat and mouse is always on with the capitalists. One cannot escape the platforms and the constant noise all around us.
Then - what can keep us grounded, rooted? Talking to elders helps sometimes - their take on living life seems absurd sometimes in this fast and brutal world - but let it sink in, and it starts to make sense.
I find that defining some values for oneself can help protect one’s mental sanity. Values, to me, are a tight set of 3-5 deeply held, core beliefs that you invariably find driving your life - no matter what you do. They may evolve as you grow (up), but perhaps not drastically. Whenever you feel lost, looking at those 5 words again can help you find some direction, some path out of the quagmire you may have found yourself in.
As an example, one of the things I value most is Craft & Mastery - whether it’s the correctly tuned nib that glides across the paper with the perfect feedback, or the well-written article that makes you think, and re-read it and make notes and decide to change (at least one small thing in) your life. More and more I find myself thinking about taking life paths, or choosing the smallest of things based on how well-made they are, and how much care has been put into it. I realize now the truth of Mark Manson’s words “Our values determine the metrics by which we measure ourselves and everyone else.”
How do you go about defining your values? Therapy helps. Journaling helps (not a diary, but a journal). Reading the right books 3 helps (but don’t overdo it - diminishing returns kick in quickly). Apparently meditation helps (I have not been able to stick to this, alas. I will keep trying though).
I encourage you to identify who you are, and build an identity that’s small but contains multitudes still.
Purpose to help you aim at the stars
Coming back to the venn diagram, and #4 from my list above. Find a purpose 4 that consumes you - this may be something you keep coming back to in times of turmoil, or times of emptiness. Something you want to change, something you want to create, maybe something you want to destroy?
Having a Purpose helps cut through the clutter, cut through the noise. You become a little more single-minded, a little more willing to get battered by the world and still stand up again.
Matt Might wrote about how a PhD helps to make a positive dent in the sum total of humanity’s knowledge. If the Purpose you choose can be something that alters our venn diagram even a little bit for the better - I think you’re living a good life. Each of us has it in us to fight the good fight. I believe in you - start something good. In an increasingly difficult world, the most important thing one can do is to choose good quests.
Personally, I’m still wrestling with my Purpose. Maybe I’ve found it, maybe I’m just a little bit scared to admit it to myself. This website and my writing is a way to discover it. I don’t expect an answer soon. But I’m sure enjoying the journey.
Footnotes
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As a nuclear family, we often miss the support of grandparents (who live in different cities) or other close family / friends. We have decided to be more outgoing and at least reconnect more meaningfully with people we already know and love - through frequent meet ups. Will expand on this in another article. ↩
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The good folks at Truth Be Told are also doing a decent job in enlightening us on this. As is Krish Ashok. ↩
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James Clear values, Mark Manson and Cal Newport have been good for me this past year. As has been Naval. More in later posts. ↩
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I’ve been told that Frankl’s “Man’s search for meaning” is the book to read. I have yet to get around to it. A pleasant surprise this year was Quarter Life Breakthrough. ↩