I am a hoarder. There, I said it.
At various points in life, I’ve called myself a collector, an enthusiast, an afficianado - but it’s the first time I’m admitting that I’m a hoarder.
I like to have well-built, functional yet aesthetic things around me. This reflects in my living spaces and the things that I buy and obsess over. However, the number of things I’d accumulated over the past decade was mind boggling, and was beginning to weigh on my mind as I was scouting for yet more things to buy to “expand my collection”.
Every day I was confronted with the clutter I had built up around myself. One day I pulled out my DSLR, only to realize the focus motor had broken down. One of my inks had gotten mold. The batteries had leaked in one of my watches. It was only recently that I came across Chuck Palahniuk’s quote “The things you own end up owning you”; and I was finally able to name the unease that had started to build up over time.
With some extra time on hand due to my career break, I got into a new obsession - decluttering. Through the process of decluttering my physical space, I uncluttered my mind and was able to label my relationship to physical stuff.
Clearing away the seen and the unseen
It was a little difficult to get started on this massive endeavour, but the obvious clutter that most of will be familiar with, were the first to be tackled - clothes & shoes, gadgets and knick-knacks.
The wife and I pulled out (and gave away)1 almost 3 whole boxes worth of clothes between us. It was good to see that most of them were well-loved, and the only reason they still lived in our wardrobes were the memories attached to them (the oldest ones were almost 16yrs old, when we got together in college). A bigger surprise was they had even survived the years - most of our newer clothes have faded away or ripped away in strategic places (enshittification much?). Half a box of clothes I still hold as the “hopeful” category - subject to seeing light of day (or not) based on the vagaries of my ever fluctuating waistline. A big bucket that neither have the heart to touch, is the pile of baby clothes that occupies 2/3rd of our loft space. It helps that our son has younger cousins accepting hand-me-downs now, but some things are a little too sentimental still.
I’m an avid researcher (and buyer) of gadgets and knick-knacks. I tend to use them for a good 1-2 years, but they tend to outlive their purpose - games get too big to run properly, priorities change, one just gets… bored. I was pleasantly surprised to find a good 2nd hand market around gadgets, exercise equipment and even niche interests like mechanical watches and fountain pens. 2
An unseen clutter we had accumulated was a big stack of documents left over from visa applications, bank work, property work, etc. Much of it was IDs, bank statements that agents asked to print but were never needed, travel itineraries and appointment slips. Having a toddler in the house helps to declutter this - the empty back sides make a good scribble pads. If you’re a little into DIY, you can make nice scribble notebooks for yourself as well! 3
I won’t bore you with all the details. But as I looked back over the process - it was immensely cathartic. Our wardrobes and house are less cluttered now, as is my mind. For some of us, stuff occupies as much space in the mind as it does physically (maybe even more). Once they start outliving their utility, critically looking at them — really asking, “will I use this again? How much does it take to actually maintain this?” — truly helped me let go of a lot of stuff. I actually felt relief once things left the house - their ownership of me was ebbing away.
Reorienting my relationship with “stuff”
I started to question how and when I became this hoarder.
First, the pervasive influence tyranny of algorithms in our lives. My Youtube was full of “desk setups”, “best accessories” and “10 best gadget” videos. While I thought I was watching them “just for fun / timepass”, there was something deeper going on and a chorus of “buy buy buy” was getting louder in my head. There is no real reason a sedentary, urban 30yr old needs 5 pocket knives - yet here I am.
Second - I heard someone say that our generation is “gareeb baap ki ameer aulaad”. (No disrespect to my parents, they provided me with everything I asked for). But this phrase has really stuck with me. I interpret it more as a scarcity mindset turning hard into abundance. We have higher disposable income, and (too) many more choices to spend it on. We feel we have “arrived” by what we own and where we live. We fill our emptiness with things instead of experiences, and lifestyle bloat has become the norm.
18th-century French philosopher Denis Diderot captured this in his essay “Regrets on Parting with My Old Dressing Gown,” which describes how acquiring a new possession often spirals into a cycle of consumption (now called as the Diderot Effect)
I had always felt I was materialistic, my self worth being tied to objects I own and use. Going through this exercise made me realize that I only really cared for maybe 20% of the things I own - rest of them I was happy to give away. It was strange to discover this about myself, as it shook my version of my identity to an extent. Still, I count it as a positive, and am happier for it.
As a result of all this - I discovered the perfect label for what I wanted my relationship with stuff to be.
BIFL
The “Buy it for life”4 movement gained momentum as a revolt against “planned obsolescence”. To me, it sums up thus:
Buy high quality goods (just at the inflection point of the price-quality curve), that are highly functional, aesthetic, easy to maintain and repair. Yes, this will cost upfront. Keep using and taking care of the goods - the higher price will pay off by itself.
The joy is in using and engaging with the stuff, not just about keeping on buying more. I have since managed to repair and tinker with a few fountain pens all on my own, get a couple of shoes fixed, and even changed watch straps on my own. Small steps, but they help me feel closer to the things I own - and build a deeper appreciation for craft and thoughtful design.
As Diderot says in his essay “If thickened ink refused to flow in my quill, it presented its flank. Traced in long black lines, one could see the services it had rendered me. These long lines announce the litterateur, the writer, the man who works. I now have the air of a rich good for nothing.”
Am I becoming a minimalist? Heck no. I will continue to buy solid things - but with a better philosophy and (hopefully) a restraint I didn’t have before.
Footnotes
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Goonj has drop-off centers in most major cities - you simply pull up to them and drop off. Services like Nokasa (Bangalore), Respun are happy to take used clothes off your hands. ↩
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Marketplaces on Facebook and MyGate are a great place to start. I discovered many communities on Reddit (BLR marketplace, Indiausedtech). And Deklutter whatsapp groups exist too. For gadgets and electronics, websites like gamenation, snapsome are a godsend. Chrono24 for watches, and whatsapp groups and subreddits for most other niches you can think of. ↩
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Simply fold the papers in half (so that the printed sides go on the inside). Each A4 paper thus becomes a 2-sided A5 sheet. Simply staple a bunch of these for a very scrappy DIY notebook! ↩